Today’s post is brought to you by “Oh my god my brain is about to quit”. No, seriously. I think I am developing a bipolar disorder. All self-inflicted of course, when is it not? Are you with me?
A few months ago I went through a crappy breakup (damn! the heart takes a while to heal), you know, life was full of birds and rainbows and BAM! Then all of the sudden, someone pulls the rug under your feet and you slam your face on the floor – “wake up and smell the coffee!” you tell yourself. You know the drill, “that’s how life works.”
So, as of late I have found that yes, it is awesome, amazing – amazeballs and shit – to have a significant other, but even with the most amazing partner, you may still have feelings of “emptiness”, especially if your self-worth-tank is running really low. The only way to fill it up? Take care of yourself and do/achieve things that are YOURS AND YOURS ONLY. Things that no one can take away from you; not your spouse, not your friends, not even god or whatever spiritual being you believe in.
Self-worth comes from creating a STRONG BOND with yourself (it’s like catching up with your bestie). It comes from feeling useful, skillful, and loved. This will only happen once you take risks and do things that will benefit YOU. Call it a new job, a new look, or a new set of skills. Those things are achieved by YOU. Those are your victories – mistakes and heartbreaks included. And yes, sometimes IT’S OK TO BE SELFISH. We are used to be at the mercy of everything and everyone: your phone, your email, your boss. Answer this, respond to that…..Whatever. They all can wait! If you keep making them your priority over YOU, then you’ll never catch up with your self-bestie and you’ll burn out.
Burning out is horrible; it’s like watching a slow-mo train wreck: you ruin dinners, you are a bitch to your friends, you can’t concentrate, you eat cookies at night and watch VINE for hours ’cause you don’t wanna deal with your to-do list (don’t lie, you do that too), you feel like the only cool ideas coming out of you are farts…er..you know what I mean. It’s all a fine balance, a tricky tricky fine balance between building your self-worth and not going overboard with it.
So why I am babbling about this shit? Well, ’cause I think I’ve been chewing too much and my brain is running dry and I’m about to puke all over the floor. Do you feel like that? Sometimes, never, always? I think it’s time for me to step back and see what’s going on. Organize. Assess. And do it all over again (we love to be sadistic with our minds, don’t we?). I am thankful for all the things I have, the opportunities I have found, and the people around me (including YOU!!). And look forward to everything else that’s lined up. And that’s that, I am struggling and wanted to share it with you.
We should ALL build a strong foundation – our self-worth – so we can withstand any fuckery that life may throw in our path. If someone pulls the rug under our feet, we’ll definitely fall, but we’ll take less time get back up. We’re all in this together. Right!?
Now let’s go have a drink.
Image credit: Bob Lightowler